♥ Friday, March 31, 2006 ♥
從小我就很喜歡一個人的時候, 因為我會有我自己的空間, 在我自己的世界裡... 在我那個世界裡沒有傷痛, 沒有悲哀, 只有快樂和我喜愛的東西比如音樂, 再那個沒有別人有機會侵入的一個小時界里, 對那時的我而言是一種幸福. 或許很多人會很不認同我也會喜歡可以一個人的時候, 因為我是一個很吵鬧的一個人所以我一定很討厭一個人的感.可是我發現我越大我越喜歡可望有一個人的時間, 因為這世界真的好複雜也很吵, 這世界也沒有我那小小的世界裡平靜, 沒有壓迫感. 這世界是一個很實際的一個世界, 什麼都講錢, 很都人也是因為沒有錢而自殺. 這對我們現在這個社會有甚麼好處呢? 實際上是沒有好處的因為這只會帶給身邊的人痛苦 - 失去親人的那種痛苦.
在我到中學時, 我就覺得我無法合我同年齡的人溝通, 不知為何, 只知道我沒辦法和她們溝通, 我只能和比我大或比我小的溝通. 或許是這樣所以很多我同年齡的人會覺得我再拍師姐們的馬屁, 可是在我內心深處我很可望能何我同年齡的人溝通, 可是卻沒人了解我因為他們沒試著和我相處, 所以每次到了作project的時候我就會時班上最後一個被選. 可是我對這些事都習慣了所以內心理沒有任何怨恨或抱怨. 只能怪自己當是沒有好好的試著和別人相處. =)
至少我現在在慢慢的學習和我同年齡的人相處, 我也要感謝上帝給我在中學陪著我度過那黑暗的時候得知己, 讓我可以依賴他們. 謝謝你耶穌!
♥ Thursday, March 30, 2006 ♥
Originally uploaded by michelle89.
你不觉得他很娘吗？？？ 我觉得他这姿势很娘... 好娘哦！！！哈哈哈哈哈哈！！！
在工作多六天我就不做了。。。 要重返校园了。。。 不知那种感觉会如何。。。 或许是因为太久没有去上学了所以这次要重返校园的那种感觉带着一些兴奋和一些颇不期待的感觉。。。 兴奋因为可以和好久没见的朋友再见，颇不期待的想见他们。或许到了一个新环境我会找到另一边我自己未发现的自己吧。也或许我会在这新的环境里找到我人生的目标吧。我这次要选的课外活动一定要有学小提琴。这是我自小超想学的一个乐器，每次看到别人在拉小提琴时我心中有一种很羡慕有很想学的念头。或许是因为从小和音乐有很多接触的关系吧任何根音乐有关的东西我都超喜欢也很爱。这就让我想起一个艺人所说的话，“学音乐的孩子永远不会变坏” 我觉得这句话不是没道理的。因为学音乐的孩子要经历的训练很严格，所以会让孩子学得比较乖。
时间过得真快，很快又要重返校园，也很快又要学新的东西了。我最近才发现我得学A Math！！！ 我好害怕自己应付不来。因为我数学基础很不好。Pray that God will see me through... LORD, i am submitting my whole self to you for your purposes, LORD, I just pray that you will just see me through these 3 years of engineering math LORD, you know that i really can't do math without you LORD... i know that whatever You put me through is to mould me for whatever purpose You have for me for me in the future so LORD Jesus, i pray that You will help me see the bigger picture instead of what i have to go through LORD, 'cos i know that whatever You do, You do it for my own good...
现在回想起来，我在中学的时候把自己搞得好累，感觉真的好辛苦，不知为何我会把自己弄成那样。我自己也解不开这个谜底。或许是因为我想掩饰自己吧。可是我发现我把自己把自己搞得好累又很不喜欢上学，原因只有一个：我好讨厌我自己，因为我一直把我自己和别人相比。别人比我好我不是不服气而是觉得自己好没有用，自己是一张兰牌，我也把自己想得好没有用，把自己想乘着世界上没有人关心我，我集资没有朋友，在四周的朋友劝都是假的，哪个是真的那个是假的，我自己都分不清。从很习惯性的关心别人变得关心别人却又不说出来，因为人家每次都认为我会关心他们是因为我想在他们身上得到什么好处。所以从中一到四，我很少给对我有偏见的人，公开的关心他们，我只有默默的在心里给他们“关怀”。
或许是因为这些事让我对生命的看法改观吧。让我自己觉得世界上最重要的不是朋友而是自己和周遭的知己因为只有这些人会让我觉得我所作的一切是值得的。因为他们会跟我说实话，那里做错了，他们会跟我讲。人家说我的是非时，他们会让我事先知道，否着从别人口中听到时吓死。我真的要感谢上帝派这些知己给我，让我从我自己黑暗的世界走出来从见光明。在度的重建自己的自信心！Thank God!!!
♥ Wednesday, March 29, 2006 ♥
Originally uploaded by michelle89.
this was taken on the day of baby jadon's fund raising... we raised almost $4000 for baby jadon.. thank God!!!
seriously i also don't know what to blog about since the whole of last week i've been working... nothing much happened but i want to thank God for the uneventful week except for fund raising if not i would have been too dead to have done anything the whole of last week...
now my office has turned into a mini post office... 'cos of the profiles that i have been printing that needs sending out... and now the table is like filled with letters... haha... i think we need like 500 stamps... haha... now my colleague and i are like folding letters, pasting stamps... that's mainly my colleague's role... my role is to print the letters and fold them if i have too many on my table... hehe... so if you are looking for a "post office" to settle your post problems, can come and find me... hahaha.... only small mails... huge parcels do it yourself... :p
♥ Sunday, March 19, 2006 ♥
Originally uploaded by michelle89.
this photo was taken on friday the 17th on ailing's birthday. we celebrated her birthday during illuminate's cell held in my house on fridays. well, she wasn't exactly expecting this birthday party 'cos no one told her about it and she was told to come later 'cos the rest needed to prepare... i led cell worship that night... whan lee said that it was well-prepared and pretty good for a first-timer like me =) but well, i still have points that i should and can brush up on... so i will kampadae on that part... =)
now i am super full... had sushi buffet and genki sushi just now with karen and faye... the both of them treated jo and i to lunch... now super full... no need dinner already... yeah!!! haha... cut down on one meal... haha...
next week LOC having a fundraising project to help baby jadon... anybody interested in coming down to support us please drop me a message via phone or sms... thank you in advance... =)
♥ Thursday, March 16, 2006 ♥
Originally uploaded by michelle89.
THANK GOD FOR IT FAIR!!! finally got my laptop... Thank You God!!! for this whole week till the end of the month when i stop work i have to work till 6pm everyday... there are pros and cons of working till that hour... let's start with the cons first...
- i'll feel very tired
- got to fight with people for space on the bus
- eat dinner later
and for the pros...
- earn more in a day thus able to save up for camp
- able to finish my work and slack around a bit
- have more quiet time to think and reflect in the office without anyone disturbing me
well, seems like it's not a bad thing after all... hehe...
tomorrow my church cell group is going to have cell in my house... going to lead worship... got 2 songs already but can't seem to find the chords for the one song... Lord please guide me as to which song You want me to use tomorrow... i'm going to wait patiently till You drop me the song... =)
p.s. after the medical check up i am now offically able to enrol for Singapore Poly... whoohoo!!!
♥ Friday, March 03, 2006 ♥
Originally uploaded by michelle89.
THANK GOD!!!!!!!!!!!! I GOT INTO THE COURSE OF MY CHOICE!!!!!! IT!!!!! (as you can see in the picture above) really want to thank God!!! 'cos as some of you might know i actually had a course in my list which i really didn't want to go to but i didn't see carefully and actually put down the code for that course thinking it was a code for another course that is related to IT... i guess God allowed that to happen for a reason too... He wanted me to learn to trust in Him wholely and not doubt Him... He's moulding me!!! THANK YOU GOD!!!
now i have bunch of friends with me in singapore poly... mei poh, zhenyan, yu wen and i have the feeling that more will be heading down to singapore poly... haha...
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